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Saturday, April 23, 2011

Parents have the ability to control the confidence in a Child

April 23, 2011

I wrote this article back on the below date came across it and decided it had value for all us parents to learn from this article. I will provide a link to the original article, and you can read all of the comments made...

October 30, 2007

Parents have the ability to control the confidence in kids

This happened to me last night l watched this young man my son walking from the dressing room, he had just played the worse possible game, and no one knew it more than him. He was fighting the puck all night, without any or much support from his teammates. I watched his body language which indicated that his self-esteem, confidence was at the lowest form it could be at.

I keep an eye on him every step as he got closer and closer to all of the parents who like myself were waiting for their son's, he looks at me and say's dad don't say a word, please. I walked with him as we passed all the other parents, not a single word was spoken in fact they turned their backs on us. I was hoping to hear a sound or a word or two of encouragement some team spirit, but none was shared with us as we both walked out of the arena.

I had never felt so much pain as l did at that moment in time, more pain then when l lost most of my wealth in 2004. Here is a young adult and he had just learned one of the most valuable lessons in life, human behavior at its best. I told him, what you felt and seen tonight will prepare you for what to expect in life, humans will always have the reaction in a manner that will create friction.

I told him of how proud l was, for him holding his head up high as he walked by the other parents, you did it the right way. I was on my mind the whole hour plus drive home, the looks from the other parents, it was like we were something that didn't even existed.

So when l got home l spent about an hour composing an email to all the parents and shared my feelings and thoughts of what we had just experienced and asked one very simple question how would you have reacted if it was you in my shoes and you son in my son's shoes. Perhaps some of you have shared my experience, and perhaps other never will truly understand what had happened. The bottom line it's only a game yes at a high level, and the expectations are great but are we not forgetting one thing these kids are only 13 and 14 years of age.

Did l do the right thing by sending an email out last night, l know one thing my wife will provide me with an earful, but she wasn't there to feel what we felt last night.

All the Best,

Joseph F. Botelho One Gram at a Time

Joseph Botelho

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